Wired for Wonder
By Wild Women On Top Director Lisa Marshall
Recently, I broke one of the Wild Women On Top Golden rules.
I returned from a weekend away trekking and had only just walked in the door before I burst in to tears.
It was the first Sunday afternoon in many weeks that my husband had not been working and I don’t think he knew what had hit him!
‘I am tired’, I said to my husband. ‘I am tired of trying to look after everybody, manage the house, work, school duties and motherhood.’
‘No one looks after me’, I said. ‘All I do is go from chore to chore and list to list’.
I was feeling really sorry for myself! But all I really I ended up doing was hurting his feelings…and feeling bad about myself. Oh dear.
When I looked back on this a few days later I thought I ought to be embarrassed. But I'm not. Most of the time I manage to keep it together, but this time it all felt too much.
What I realise now is that all I needed to do was change my mindset and reassess what the real reasons were for feeling this stress.
The universe works in weird ways and somehow I was given the opportunity this week to see things differently. I won a ticket to "Wired for Wonder" and ended up in a workshop session run by four very successful business women, with families, whose key message seemed to have been written for me this week!
I can now say I don’t feel guilty, or angry with myself for not coping. I don’t feel guilty for not being good at everything and feeling like I have to be perfect at everything I do.
I was trying desperately to have balance, and feeling bad for putting work commitments before family. I was trying very hard to appear calm on the surface, managing a busy job, a household, a five year old, trying to stay fit, eat clean, lead by example as a coach, and be a wonderful wife and friend.
I will keep trying to do these things but I'm also going to try hard not to fall apart when chaos reigns. And I am not going to feel guilty.
I'm going to figure out what I am good at and be good at being myself. I’m going to be grateful for the amazing, chaotic life that I have, because I get the chance to live what I believe in.
I get to work with a team that truly believes in doing good. I get to be pushed out of my comfort zone daily - physically, mentally and emotionally.
I might not always get to my son's school functions on time, and he might spend many hours tagging along to work with me or my husband, but great, he's going to grow up as a business kid. He's going to see his parents forging a life and living out of our passion and desire to inspire people to take their health and fitness seriously. He is going to enjoy the fun that comes with feeling strong and taking on adventures and life goals that you once thought impossible. He's going to see my do my best to fill our home with clean, pure foods, and go walking even when there's a host of household chores still waiting to be done. He'll see me fail many times to have balance and harmony in my life. But he will learn that life's not as simple as right or wrong. It’s what we decide to prioritize and focus on. It’s about finding ways to keep our brains firing on all cylinders and keep moving. It’s making sure we don’t get sucked in by all our gadgets and forget to engage with those close to us and appreciate our surroundings.
At 36 I feel I'm learning more about life, love, work, health, teams and my own journey, than I ever learnt in school. And I realize I haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg…
But life isn’t about getting it right all the time. It is about learning, growing and striving to be better and share more. I think I am doing something right.